Thursday, April 24, 2014

The Underground World of CouchSurfing and Sex


At Couchsurfing, we envision a world where everyone can explore and create meaningful connections with the people and places they encounter. Building meaningful connections across cultures enables us to respond to differences with curiosity, appreciation and respect. The appreciation of diversity spreads tolerance and creates a global community.

Within the worldof CouchSurfing, an obviously touchy subject...
It happens, but no one wants to talk about it...
When it is addressed, themes like creepy men, Sexual Assault, Pick up Artist and  even in some cases, rape, are often used to describe it.

Official Guidelines  says

Couch Surfing
-Don't Go Looking for a Date
Our members join Couch Surfing to make friendships. Don’t contact other members for dating -- we will consider this harassment.

In its inception, Couchsurfing had a solid ideology of opening your home to other travelers and welcoming the innocent and intelligent idea of cultural exchange.
Sadly, Humans,  while intelligent, are not always "innocent".
While I admire the community that believes sex never happens between traveler and host...I pity their ignorance of how the real world works.

The same way people turn to Facebook as a form of  "Social Proof"  and Dating websites, as a way to find a mate..over time it has became obvious Couchsurfing is somewhat of a big popularity contest.
The way to win at Couchsurfing is to:

- Tailoring of your profile to make yourself look as cool and worldly as possible!

- Exhibiting all the fun things you've done in all sorts of cool places!

- Have many references confirming that you're awesome!

(And a pretty important factor..)
- Be good looking 

Sounds like Ok Cupid....right?

CouchSurfing is a revolving paradox.

With a lack of one will believe you are worth spending time with..
But if no one ever meets'll never build up references.

No longer are the days when you could send one or two request and find a host.

Now the average user must bombard  10-20  mailboxes with request in hopes that at least one person will be nice enough to take you in.( Let alone fuck you)

If I didn't know I was on CouchSurfing...You would think this was a dating site and I was setting up a profile to get dates.

The only difference is that now you have the luxury and security that your date will stay in your house.

Roughly half of all Americans know someone who's fallen in love via online relationship

1 in  5  Romantic or Sexual relationships start online. -Huffington Post
So why are people so quick to criticize a website where like minded travelers meet up with the possibility of a fling?

Why does everyone ignore the Elephant in the room?

Its common but not commonly spoken of that both men and women are more likely to engage in sex while traveling -Travel Sex Life

I've CouchSurfed  and hosted more than enough time to understand how the game works. Both as a Cultural Exchange, and as a was to meet people.
Looking at the CS website like a dating site... I can easily look at boring profiles with unattractive and non-adventurous people and correlate them to low references

Members with "interesting" profiles and vibrant attitudes are always the more experienced members

These members often have enough references to write a college paper.

To add to this, Couchsurfing  recently implemented a feature that shows how many request a person has already received. WTF Couchsurfing

While I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of this is..The result is that you can see the vast disparity that attractive women  are offered places to stay...while men are left high and dry.

This SEEMS a lot like a dating website, where women will get dozens of messages...most will go ignored. But that man or woman that seems like the best date candidate will probably get his or her message replied to.
No one wants to date a weird person, let alone allow them to sleep on their couch.

After a while I started experimenting and looking at my own experiences.


I happened to live in a popular city with a great night life.
I had multiple days a week in my schedule to enjoy both the day and night life of the city to the point where I could give a multi-hour tour and probably get a guest drunk better than a beer crawl.

My "flaw" was that I stayed in a very small apartment with only one room and bed

I made it clear that my lack of space wasn't a problem because you most likely would be having too much fun to sleep. Even then I would give up my bed and sleep on the floor if it came down to it.

I would get at minimum, one request per week from a girl or group of girls that wanted to stay with me.
It got to the point that I had to bring a friend into my operation.

IF push came to shove. He had an apartment down the hall to split women up. (Fun for the both of us ;D)
I rarely hosted men.

It wasn't because I didn't want to.
But men read my profile and didn't message me as often.
They usually messaged me to meet up during the night or get advice on the city

I followed a simply routine and got laid.


Let them find my apartment.
Let them rest or offer them a tour of the surrounding area
( Personally, I prefer as a host and guest to do my own thing during the day)

But once night fell, I had a multitude of bar and clubs to take guest to
. Multiple venue changes is the key. Give them an awesome experience with a sexual undertone during the night.

It worked like magic..It was simple.

Our Guest or Guests would flirt always end up flirting with us..or having the time of their lives

...And where else..other than my one room apartment would they come back to? :D


When it came to traveling, I often had to send a dozen or more request to find host my friend and I.

I used the CS filter and only sent messages to Women in my specific age bracket that were attractive.

Never put all your eggs in one basket...Women flake often

In lucky situations I would have multiple women invite me to their humble abodes..allowing me to choose.
Only once did I ever meet up with a host that I turned down. And even then..She seems excited to see me.

In the end...similar results happened.
If the host was attractive..they would often make a move on me or insinuate that more could happen.
All this happened despite me remaining conservative and oblivious to the idea of sex with my host.
On more than one occasion..Some of my host would push me to meet their friends.. I've banged more than enough roommates of host to be considered a resident in the house.

Assuming you're a young decent looking traveler. CouchSurfing is a completely viable avenue to having sex with people from around the world.

Open Doors and Open Legs

I used Couch Surfing exactly as it was intended to be used. To meet people from around the world and exchange "culture" with them.
When Young/Mature people meet on the road...more than just nice words can be had.

My theory is that the people that are so strongly against the idea, are people that are ugly, unsocial..or simply can't get laid and feel as though no one should. ..That and Feminist

The majority otherwise, simply do not want to acknowledge it because they fear the community going against them.

But I will give a warning.
Couchsurfing is a slippery slope. If you forced yourself upon a guest or host that wasn't interested you risk loosing a place to stay..or worse a negative reference!

But if anything, I felt used by the sheer number of woman that I hosted.

Some of them came literally from suburbs of the city, thirty minutes away, under the rouge that they had never actually been into the city to meet with me.
Its all about the frame.

Overall....The most laughable argument, is that men are the ones using this website for sex.
Men are taking advantage of women.

Everyone likes to see women as the victim...When in reality... female sex tourism is on the rise!

Female Sex Tourism
When the Sex Tourist is a Woman -Jezebel

Within the gossip world of women, stories jump around the world that some countries have better men than others.
Italian and French men being so romantic
British men having such arousing accents

What makes one think that women don't use Couch Surfing for the same purpose... At the end of the day..Some people might read this post and actually be more interested in the dynamic of using CouchSurfing as a means to travel and possibly get laid. But why not learn to be the best all around guy you can be? A friend of mine wrote a book recently called the Alpha Playboy. I wrote a review on it on another post.

Until I write a book( In the works) I suggest everyone, At least check out the review and maybe buy the book. The Alpha Playboy by Christian McQueen ( A Review)


  1. well, couchsurfing is a great place to meet the real peoples, for me, i had great hosts from all over the world i have been to, the dirty stories you mentioned above can happen just if the host or guest being naughty, couchsurfing doesnt means sex at all

  2. "When young people meet, more than just nice words can be had."

    So no sex for the more mature people? LOL, oh you are SO wrong about that my friend! :-)

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